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I Used To Love H.I.M.

I’ve always been a fanatic of Kanye West’s music – going all the way back to The College Dropout.

It seemed like an obvious match looking hindsight at it all. I was producing music. He was too. I’m from Chicago. He’s from Chicago too. I’m from the southside. He’s from the southside too. I mean, he is like the classic American success story: as long as you hustle your ass off and believe in yourself – anything is possible, even a 69 between a little person and a full-grown person (but that’s another story).

I didn’t actually become a fan of Kanye West the personality until a little while later, however. I can’t really pinpoint exactly what it was that made me say, “You know what? I really like this dude. Hell, he can come over on Thanksgiving and fuck my sister!” I just know that by the time 808s and Heartbreak hit the scene and confused the living shit out of everyone in Hip Hop, I had a become a huge fan of Kanye West the personality too.

For me, it was about someone completely and happily basking in their originality. It was about H.I.M. completely owning his weirdness. It was about H.I.M. being what Hip Hop needed to move the culture forward…as every Hip Hop era has needed. And yes. It was about H.I.M. being one cocky ass motherfucker.

But Kanye never said anything that he truly didn’t believe and that is what made H.I.M so popular and his music that much more intriguing. He didn’t just bark what you wanted to hear. He said what you needed to hear.

Sadly, something has changed, though. He’s not the Kanye West that I proudly invited over to fuck my sister so many years ago.

I don’t want to blame any of it on anyone else because people should take ownership for their own damn direction in their lives. But one can’t help but suspect that a lot of this “ain’t-shittery” happened after he made Kim Kardashian his ol’ ball & chain.

I won’t dare say someone as strong personality-wise as Ye would ever be influenced by someone like Kim, but I will say that he has fallen victim to one of the worst kind of poisons to ever affect human beings since Adam & Eve used to go together: the need for some kind, any kind of relevancy.

Much like his wife, it seems that Kanye is willing to say and do anything just to grab a punk ass headline.  After all, negative publicity is still publicity as the saying goes, but this kind of strategic celeb lifestyle simply does not work well for H.I.M. It completely destroys the cult of personality he created over the early course of his career.

And while I can say that I’m probably always going to enjoy Kanye’s music, I think the time has finally come to say I am no longer a fan of Kanye West the Attention Seeking Assdick.

From the whole robbery debacle (which I truly believe was a publicity stunt) to now him claiming that he would have voted for Trump – I am sooo literally done with dude.

For someone that so matter-of-factly said that George Bush doesn’t give a good fuck about black people, there’s no way he can be honest in the fact that he would have cast a mothafucking vote for someone that professed bigotry as much as Donald Trump.

No way. No how.

Therefore, he’s only saying this shit to be a talking point in the news cycle. And I’m all like, “Why, Kanye, why?!?” like some heartbroken fuckstick that should have known all along that Ye would become a twat.

I almost regret falling victim to the trap by writing this piece about H.I.M. But as a longtime fan of H.I.M, I felt it necessary to express on behalf of other former-heartbroken fucksticks like me that Kanye West has finally reached a point where he is doing way too damn much. His legacy as a genius music artist is in jeopardy because he has been seeking a really dangerous emotion called “Attention.”

That’s what makes the comment about Trump even worse. It’s not merely the fact that he would vote for someone that he truly relates to (which is pretty shitty in itself considering all that Trump proposes). It’s the fact that Kanye West is willing to forgo his own moral compass for the 15 minutes of fame that he keeps half-ass replenishing like a Straight Talk phone card from Wal-Mart.

It’s a shame that someone that I once viewed as an untouchable mythical figure in Hip Hop now looks mortal and human as all fuck to me. It’s almost as if I found out Superman could fly but has had shit stains in his underwear the whole time. It’s just woefully disappointing.

This poison is not limited to just Kanye though. It’s everywhere. Social media has become a breeding ground for human larvae that feed off attention and relevancy in a time that people aren’t willing to give their time of day as much anymore. You have to work extra hard to be creative and be cool and be someone worth paying attention too.

But somewhere along the line, Kanye has forgotten that simply being honest and being H.I.M. is more than enough to stay relevant in this microwave world. Now, he’s simply selling his soul to keep his name on in our mouth until the time comes for H.I.M. to sell something else out to just be relevant for a few seconds all over again.

That right there is the part that stings the most. It’s like I’ve been moonwalking on the wooden living room floor with my church socks on and got a splinter in my pinky toe.

To see my virtual Hip Hop superhero succumb to such a lowly reality check just sucks balls, man. In fact, it sucks so much that if it were a blowjob it would actually be awesome. It’s fucked up, but the dude that said everything I’m not made me everything I am – is now taking that just a little too literally.

And I all can muster up is…

…well, I used to love H.I.M.

About Here Lies Zay

I'm a #Writer not a fighter ■ Contributor @TheExtraNegroes ■ Joyously kicking down pillow forts on my quest to do the write thing.

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